monkeys

we interrupt this period of not posting to give you a handy tip learned from the monkeys.

if a banana is hard to peel b/c the stem is smushing into the banana, do like the monkeys do and open the banana upside down.  it is much easier!

huh.  who knew??
guess that's something that didn't carry over from evolution.  guess the walking upright and ability to hold a conversation got first dibs.

to the idiot next to me at Moe's

Dear Idiot,

How adorable that your 3(?) year old was sleeping in the backseat at dinner time.  All the windows are rolled down because yes, we are having a nice day today, aren't we.  How very prudent of you to send your teenage son in to grab dinner for everyone while you continued your phone conversation so that your son could continue to sleep.

But wait!  Your 3year old is snuggled up next to the door.  How is that possible?  OOOhhhh!!! Right!  I guess if you don't have your 3year old in neither a car seat nor a seatbelt (wtf??), it would be possible, and maybe even comfortable to use the back door as a resting place.

Are you kidding me??

Oh!  I see.  Sorry for the misunderstanding.  I guess the Jesus fish magnet on the bumper, coupled with the paying extra for the "in god we trust" license plate is all the protection you need as you pull out of the restaurant still talking on the cell phone.

Silly me.  I take back all my talk of your irresponsibility.  

So happy for you that you can put all of your trust in the Lord.

I mean, you know... because accidents in GA never happen.  We are in the Bible Belt, no? 

Sincerely,

a concerned mom who wishes I had the police number programmed in my cell phone because your license plate is burning a hole in my brain as i want so much to report you to someone.  

*****EDITED TO ADD:
30 minutes later, i see on Yahoo! a news story about a chinese toddler who accidentally opened the car door and fell into a busy intersection.     see what i mean.... are you kidding me???  (sorry, the link didn't go to that story, but to the general "odd news" section)

[sidenote] Kinda reminds me of the age-old joke about the dude in the flood who "trusts the Lord will take care of him".  2 boats and a helicopter offer to rescue him; for him to refuse b/c of his faith in the Lord...... dude decided to ask God at the Pearly Gates what could've happened...

[sidenote 2] i love these people who love the Lord so much who can exemplify such behaviors with their cars.  i bet these 2 ladies are friends.

 

refreshing

how refreshing!
even in the age of stupid reminders, there actually wasn't one listed on the Betty Crocker Supreme Bars i made today.
the brownie package looked like a package of brownie mix. the cookie package looked like a package of cookie mix. you could even see the chocolate chips.

i swear i was having bets with myself to see if it marked all over each package what each one was.

glad they saved their ink & treated us like we actually knew how to make a BOXED dessert! hey, y'all--- i did it!

scratchin' my head

seen while shopping:

a typical 4door sedan with 2 bumper stickers:
"honk if you wanna see my t!ts" &
"if you think i look good, imagine how i taste"

then on the license plate, they paid extra for the "in god we trust"

i'm all for funny. and crude jokes are OK too. but even before being a mom, i was never a fan of calling attention to crassness.
i'm not exactly a prude, but i do think those bumper stickers have left out any subtlety & crossed a line. add to that the god thing- it just made me stop and say hmmmmm

idiot!

maybe if i post on the idiot things i do, this blog won't be as neglected.

i just posted about a trip to see some animals on my other blog & of course, had Def Leppard's Animal in my mind. so i originally tried to be funny & began the post asking if i was the only one.

luckily, as i linked to the song on youtube, it played automatically. so i kept waiting and waiting for the part that was stuck in my head. you know: "AN-NI-MUHUL".
when it didn't ever play, i took 3 seconds to realize that i was confusing Animal with Panama.

cuz you know.... Def Leppard; Van Halen. same diff.

IDIOT.