medicine merry-go-round

welp!
exactly what i didn't want to happen, seemingly is beginning to happen.
Dr. New Guy is taking me off Wellbutrin.
only to put me on something else.

i am so very frustrated with this.  this is exactly why i have been fighting meds.
i am so vague in everything, i will never know if meds work.... and now i should try yet another.
give that time to "work".  how will i know if it does??

as i've said before, a pill that i take will not make the people around me better.
the bean will still be a brat.  the marriage will still sometimes have flaws.  The Mr. will still travel.  the stress will still come & go.
i still get random bouts/days of feeling depressed.  some days i can ignore it. some days can be just fine.

i have been keeping track.  there is no pattern.  it would stand to reason that PMS could be a factor in my depression.  and that could possibly happen for a day or 2 before it comes.  however, it can come 2 weeks, 1 week, or not at all before it comes, too.

so, i asked Dr. New Guy if i should wait for this new meds for when i'm in my down mood.  he said it was a personal choice.  but to realize it could take time for the meds work.
he said i could go ahead and begin my new meds now.  but The Mr. & i agree that i should first wean off current meds.  wait a week or so & clear my system.

in light of the random side-effecty type symptoms i seem to get; i'd rather have a clearer picture on what the cause could be.  the new meds or the "withdrawal" from the old meds.
or just my general freaky self i've been struggling with for forever.

i have begun the process.  i will take 1/2 pills til' i'm out.
and as far as beginning something new...............
i just don't know!!!

GAH.

the only good thing that has come of this so far, is that in researching the new meds, i came across a "progress tracker" so now i can have a better description of my days & progress instead of just my spreadsheet that says "depressed".  maybe this can shed some light on things, too.

still, though, GAH