Tuesday, October 14, 2008

a poll on human nature- take two

earlier, i'd asked for your thoughts. it seems as though i was too vague. i would like to clarify what i meant.

this has come up soooo very often in our relationship.
let's remind ourselves that i rarely fuss about The Mr. on my blog. & he has the endearing monaker: best husband of bunko. see here, here, & here.

however, i have been guilty of needing affirmation. i'm sure we've all been guilty of saying: i'm a bad mom....or....i don't feel attractive. & there have been countless other statements i've made wanting some response.(not all of the "am i pretty enough" variety) but how 'bout this number, taken from actual conversation tonight:

me: i'm worried about her dr. appt tomorrow

him: why? what did you read in that book just now? [AAP's Caring for your Child from birth to age 5]

me: i pointed out 3 things i have some concern about, that i'm not in the mood to discuss right now b/c it's probably nothing.... but enough that i've been concerned.

him: ..........................rolled over.


in these times of needing affirmation, is it human nature to:
----ignore statement?
----confirm/negate statement?

because i'm really wanting to know!


Lainey-Paney said...

..........okay, not that I'm knocking you...... but, what is his impression? does he feel like you worry about things needlessly?

(I totally work myself up about things "needlessly" in the eyes of some...)

.......or, is it his own personal denial. obviously it's something about either your health/well-being, or health/well-being of your offspring. Is blocking it out/refusing to worry about it or even acknowledge your concerns his way of protecting himself?

in general though--I say that it is natural instinct to affirm/negate the statements of others.....

Pregnantly Plump said...

I'm not going to be of too much help.
I worry way, WAY too much about every little thing involving Little Elvis. Bob used to respond and tell me I was being ridiculous, but sometimes he just ignores and I take that as my clue that I'm worrying over nothing.
As for the looks thing, Bob does this to me. He will say something about losing his hair (he's not) or gaining weight (same size since he graduated high school) and I know his ego just needs stroking. Sometimes I play along. Other times I ignore, but if I'm feeling particularly tooncey, then I'll tell him his ears are too big (another complaint of his) and that I saw about 100 hairs on his pillow that morning. He knows I'm poking fun and will usually stop with the fussing.

Tom said...

I vote worry about things when you have reason to worry, not before. Your Mr. is a very logical person and this sounds illogical to me. When the doc says there's a problem, worry. He thinks you're pretty, he married you. Etc, etc... Then again, I think in general guys need less affirmation from others in life than girls... perhaps I'm wrong... not going to worry about it though. ;)

Not Funky Boss said...

Dear Madam,

I came across your blog completely by accident. Maybe your husband only rolled over because it was 11:30 PM and was tired from a soccer game and working 13 hours and his brain couldn't function properly to formulate a valid response. Not that I know your husband or anything. That's happened to me before, is all.

Leanne said...

He's a guy. He'll ignore you. That's why we all need girlfriends. They get it. Just sayin'....