Monday, November 5, 2007

what's this "real world" you speak of?

this new job has opened up more than just "job" related newness for me.
i'm not quite in the swing of things, but this week it'll pick up w/ meetings & training. i'm sure you'll eventually be hearing about my new job, but let's talk about a different newness.

let's talk about the.....REAL WORLD kinda job. it's quite interesting. i mean, i guess this won't be new to any of y'all; but humor me & let me enlighten you on the world of teaching:

- using the restroom: THEN if you're like me, you learn to "hold it" for 12 hours. if you're normal, you wait for your "break". which was usually either a) nonexistent, or b) at inopportune times. then during your "break", you rush to one of the 3 adult bathrooms, and spend your "break" waiting in line. *ahem, your "break" is supposed to be used for such things as planning the next lesson, grading papers, writing parent letter, etc.... you know, all things non-break-like.
NOW um, you just stand up, walk over and go. no reservations needed. ???? really?

- using the phone: THEN if you're like me, because of said "break" situation, you put it off till way later [dare i say too late] and never seem to have pertinent materials with you (calendar, work samples, grades, evidence, er i mean documentation); you walk down the hall & wait for one of 2 quiet phones, and try not to eavesdrop on the other convo. hesitate to leave a message if need be, b/c then you'll have to walk all the way back to your classroom, and turn around in 5 min when they call back. NOW pick up this appliance that is sitting on your desk and dial at the very moment you're thinking of the issue. [tho in a cubicle, i'm sure eavesdropping will be an everpresent issue] ????? huh!

- lunch: THEN you line up 21 6-year olds in the correct order to be in, according to what their lunch choice was that day...{no, susieq, you can NOT change your order right now}.... you walk down the hall {quietly! people are working. please don't touch the walls. thank you, susieq, i like how you remembered to walk on the 3rd square.} to the cafeteria, wait in line behind the other class, walk the kids through the lunchline {don't forget your milk.... get your silverware.... *clang!!! *sigh* please don't drop it}, make sure they get the right item {susieq, they made X for you, you can't just get Y b/c you want it now. order that tomorrow.}, make sure they're seated. {remember, only talk when the music is OFF..... yes, i'll open that for you.}, walk back down the hall and enjoy 20 minutes of "uninterrupted break-time" to woof, er i mean eat your food. [refer to the restroom section if you're still confused about "break" time]
NOW stand up, and choose where to take an hour. here? or out? um, ??? out? you mean, out of the building? to eat? and it's not goldfish & other finger foods you can eat while on "break"?????? wow.

- getting to work: THEN if you're like me, you'd want to feel prepared & ready, so you would get there at 6:45 or earlier. that's AM. if you're normal, you stroll in at 7:30 (7:15 if you have to report for a morning duty) (7:14 if you're actually going to help your coworkers and show up for said duty). the kids start coming in from 7:35-7:55 in a perfect world; some would show up at like 8:15! NOW it will change from day to day; but so far, 8:30's been the earliest, and apparently when we have training, our day starts at 10:00. ?????? you mean, it's light out when you go to work??

- leaving work: THEN who knows? usually not before 5:30 or 6:00. that's PM. sometimes you even lug everything you didn't get done home to work on until bedtime. that's 9 or 10 at the latest. THEN you tell your friend that no, you can't walk in the n'hood on mondays!!! i mean, that's "stuff the tuesday folder day"!
NOW again, believe me, there will be some loonnnnnggg days. but usually, it's 5:00 on the dot. and apparently 4pm when in training. and, so far i haven't heard of "tuesday folders" ????? so, you mean, i can keep preparing dinner? hmmmmm.

so, as you can see, i'm trying to learn this real world thing.
and i haven't even mentioned that i'm wearing real world clothes, and shoes with heels! ? ! and makeup that stays on for longer than 7:30am!!!
i'm sure there's more for me to learn. but alas, i've kept you this long.

thanks for listenin'.


Lainey-Paney said...

so, do you like the real world?

Funky Boss said...

I too am having trouble adjusting to the Real World. Remember the days of Puck, Pedro and the gang? Today's Real World totally sucks in comparison.

Pregnantly Plump said...

sounds like you're enjoying the real world! yay!

Sabra said...

Thanks for writing this.