Friday, January 29, 2016

...and the no good very bad day

today was not a good day (so far).  when she woke up this morning, bean said her belly hurt a little but then was fine.  she does that some mornings.  i try not to read too much into it (anxiety) and just know that i have a lot of mornings like that myself.  she's always fine with breakfast.

but today was the first day she said cried the words "but i'm not pretty!"
that broke my ever-loving heart.  i am trying not to read too much into it, because it all stemmed from a particular skirt she wanted to wear that is a size FOUR T.  so yeah.  it doesn't fit. (though she wore it last week??????) 

it was just one of those mornings.  we all have them. i get it.  nothing seemed right.  but i didn't like her to continue to say-cry-scream that she's not pretty.
it made me very very uncomfortable.  because obviously i want to be there for her when she is feeling down. especially if it's upon herself.  and i'm not quick on my feet for saying & teaching the right things.  the "yes you are" a) doesn't work or b) help the idea but it's c) automatic.

she has never ever ever heard me say anything negative about myself.  i accept every compliment she gives me.  i negate nothing.  i only slipped up once when she said that i looked cute and i was in some sweats or something.  i questioned her a little too much in that i would expect that i would be cuter in nicer clothes.  but i did let it go fairly quickly and thanked her. 

she has developed a love of skirts & dresses.  and she wears a skirt over leggings almost every chance she gets....  she felt she wasn't pretty because she couldn't.  
i tried to say all the right things about clothes not mattering, etc.  but she didn't want to hear it.  she even said her "special" wavy hair today wasn't pretty b/c it was supposed to go with the skirt.

a bad day.  i get it.  just like Alexander. 
i hate those days. 

but she really IS so very pretty!!!
(even when she just wakes up)


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