to think the last time we spent this day apart was eight years ago.
and some of the same feelings arise. i miss you- again.
i know our wedding day could've been so much better. hell, our engagement period even had some bad moments.
i'm sorry it wasn't everything i/we'd hoped for.
but coming down the aisle, and finally looking into your eyes made me believe that everything was going to be alright with that day.
and, it wasn't.
but it didn't matter.
even eight years later, in my darkest & saddest moments, sometimes i conjure up that feeling again of finally seeing you on september fourteenth 'oh-two.
of looking across the aisle while the deacon was speaking and just soaking in that- that right there.
of being able to hold hands & exchange rings--- and how you liked how i did it. (those many episodes of TLC's "Wedding Story" really paid off)
of waiting for the song of eternity to finally end so we could be married.
of that kiss.
of walking down the aisle -with you this time.
i like remembering that.
so, tonight i will likely pop in the only hazy dark video we have of our wedding (that incidentally showed pretty much everything, except for the one thing i want- the kiss!).
i will peruse our albums.
and i will remember fondly why it is we are still here.
eight years later.
maybe a project of mine should be scanning our photos so we have them digitally. one would've come in handy right about now.