Monday, September 22, 2008

status symbol?

in catching up on some of my blog reading, i came across this one about feminism from pregnantly plump. [for some reason, i can't get the link to pull up; my apologies. it's titled: setting back feminism from aug. 31st] which prompted me to decide to write about this:

the other day, i was talking to a friend who called to see if she could come over to meet the bean. while we were talking & catching up, she had asked when i was returning to work. when i mentioned that i wasn't, she said something puzzling.

to be fair, i'm not saying this is her view, or if she truly just "heard" about this---she may've tried to be subtle, but i really couldn't tell. all i know is i've heard about the "feminism debate"; but i hadn't heard this take:

apparently, being a stay-at-home-mom is supposedly some new status symbol. when i asked what she meant, thinking she'd say that it's looked upon as a "noble" choice or "toughest job ever" & all that jazz, i was taken aback at the answer. apparently this status symbol is for The Mr. & how it says a lot that the husband can make so much money that a wife can stay home.

i ask you now: wtf??

ummm, let's re-word that.
how bout it says a lot that a couple can plan and prepare for years to make this choice b/c it's how they view themselves as raising a baby.
let's try: it's a status symbol that 2 working adults can sock away some money if needed in the future.
how bout it measures how smart they are for planning ahead in order to realize the idea.
how bout it says a lot that people will make sacrifices by scrimping when they go from 2 salaries to 1 if it's important to them.

now if i tell you that i am staying home & the maid comes every wednesday, except whilst we're in our vacation home in fiji--- wellthen!


Pregnantly Plump said...

Here-here! I have to admit no one has ever mentioned the status symbol thing to us. Probably because we are so obviously frugal and thrifty!
And just let me tell you, most of the women in my neighborhood do hire the cleaning ladies and have the Caribbean trips!!

Swistle said...

I heard the term "rich stay-at-home moms" the other day. It wasn't used to mean "the rich stay-at-home moms as opposed to the poor stay-at-home moms," it was used to mean "stay-at-home moms are, by definition, rich." I was like, "Whuh?" Because my friends who work, their families have TWO incomes, and we have one. So they have nicer houses, nicer cars, nicer clothes, and nicer bank accounts.

Lainey-Paney said...

I guess it's just all in how you look at it...
some people can afford to stay at home...some can't. Some can afford it but don't want to. Some want to, but can't afford to.
I never looked at it as a status symbol. And you know...on those days when I'm picking my son's crusty snot on the hem of my shirt b/c he just used me as his personal Kleenex---well, it isn't so much lookin' like a status symbol then!

Leanne said...

Yep. I was home for a long time, and it wasn't a status symbol for my hubby. He spent a lot of time actually bemoaning the loss of my salary.

Now I work part time and it's HARD. I just feel for the Mom's who do it full time and wish they could cut back. For the Moms who work full time and love it - all the more power to them!

I just wish everyone would stop judging why we're doing what we're doing and just let all woman support each other! It's tough out here!

Michelle said...

I don't think your friend realizes how many SAHMs are really doing a lot of work. Whether it's housework, homeschooling, or working from home/online.