the making of The Mr.

#78 explained
so i told of his engagement, but it all started .............................with mine.

who knew!?

a long time ago, in a college far away, it was the dawn of the internet. so as you read, be aware that "internet dating" is so not the same!

yes. The Mr. & i met online. only online in 1994 isn't quite the same as it is now. online in 1994 consisted of Clemson's mainframe system where you could see the (few, student) users logged on at that time. i think 50 was even a lot at any given time. & talking to these users wasn't the same as opening up an I-M and typing to them.
no. we had commands to type in. i can never remember exactly, but it was something like:
se us bruf 'blahblahblah' and i think something else [enter]

crazy! (except, let it be known that my awesome pal mike did some tweaking to my account and made it so i could cut out some of that and just input:
to bruf "blahblahblah" [enter].....this little fact makes The Mr. very jealous of me).

longer story shorter is that one of The Mr.'s friends was talking to me and was leaving to go to dinner, and The Mr. had just walked in from dinner. when he asked what was going on, the friend said- here, talk to this girl. she's mpotter, she is one of 13 and she has striped eyelashes.......

so next thing i know, bruf writes to me: hey, aren't you the girl with the shaved eyebrows......... and like 7 sisters??

and that's how it all began. god how i wish i saved that convo. little did i know how important it would become. it was awesome. we talked for a pretty good while. and i was so ON. i'm not normally that funny- but he really is!! and we were both back and forth and i was saying some funny stuff.
and although he isn't one to pay compliments very often, in that conversation, he did. finally, he said, "you're funny!" and i replied, "marry me!" and his response was, "ok."

.................................... now, that was a great story to tell. and it coulda ended there. but a few days later, i inexplicably got some tuxedo info in my campus mailbox. it was for my "upcoming wedding". say it with me: ??????what?????
so of course i thought of bruf, and went to send it to him. i had to look him up in the phone book (remember those??) and when i did, i noticed that he has a sister that i sorta knew. so it didn't seem to me very stalkerish (pre internet) for me to send the card to him.

we talked for about a month before we met officially on oct. 27th in the ampitheatre at 1am. so many fun conversations over that silly mainframe. we would both brighten as we check the log to see who was on, and next thing you know, i would have "MPOTTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!" come on my screen. to which i promptly would reply "BRUF!!!!!!!!!!"

we made plans for our first date- 15 years ago today. we were going to see Forrest Gump because he was the only person alive who hadn't. and while we were at it, let's go to the CU soccer game, too. and what to do in between an afternoon and evening date? just come hang out in my dorm room........

i got a VCR!!!!!

here's to you, 1994.
and here's to you, bruf. thank you for surviving the history with me.
thank you for guiding me, encouraging me, supporting me, helping me, teaching me.............................LOVING ME.
here's to another 15 years and thensome.

#75 explained- the magic birthday

continuing my explanations, here's more on #75 of my list of 100.

today marks the 30th anniversary of my "magic birthday".

you may remember i'm a picky eater. i now consider it a major character flaw. and i guess that started at an early age. i noticed my mom used to make me "different" food. she usually had 2 or 3 versions of the same type meal on many nights. not just for me, but i know i was the biggest culprit.

for instance, when she'd make 'chopmeat & macaroni in the oven' (clever title, no?), she'd usually make 3: one with onions & peppers. one without. and one with just onions.

she was great at remembering what we all liked/didn't like. how she could keep up with all 13 of us' tastes, i'll never know. of course, she did spend a lot of time calling me by some other name. but, eh.

it was mainly when she made casserole type dishes that she did this. regular meat & sides, she'd just offer a choice of 2 or more veggies.

when i was super young, i remember having oatmeal for dinner. or scrambled eggs in the microwave*.

apparently i came of the age i'd have to start eating what we had. but i guess my mom figured if she's making enough for an army, it didn't really matter to her if she could leave something pesky out.

still i had issues with dinner almost nightly. how many times did my sisters try to coach me into eating my veggies? i would eat them one by one. ice cold, no doubt. if i were forced to eat veggies right now, i'm sure i'd do it the same way.

oh, and i learned to swallow many whole.

how many times did i rip open the string beans and "pretend" they were peanuts? how many times would i hold my nose, close my eyes, and STILL have a problem with what i was eating? how many times would i scatter my food around the plate, because we ALL KNOW the amazing physics behind how when you do such a thing, it miraculously fools your parents into thinking that you did, in fact, eat your supper.

just eat the veggies first they'd say. because apparently warm veggies that are disgusting are supposedly less disgusting than cold veggies that are disgusting. but no! i'd rather eat what i like just in case the world ended and my last taste wasn't broccoli. (or, more likely my dad became a softy that night and let me be done). the fewer pieces of corn eaten the better, in my book.

yes. i had problems with normal vegetables, as well as the grosser ones (creamed corn, anybody?? something that looks, smells, and tastes like, well..... eeewww).

i can still right now at this very moment conjure up the smell & taste of cauliflower. and the ONE time i had to have beets.

how many nights did i go to bed at suppertime b/c i flat out refused to eat? i just couldn't. and do you know that from all this turmoil, i developed a semi-talent...

i digress.

my mom made the BEST spaghetti ever. apparently. every sibling that would have people over for dinner for all years would request that we had either spaghetti or chicken paprikas. she was famous for it.

no jar here. unless you count the tomato paste that went in. with homemade meatballs as well. we usually had spaghetti on wednesdays because that was her bowling night and her night off from work. so she would start it in the morning. it was an all day affair; this famous sauce.

(2 meatballs a person, y'all. she had to ration. pity the pals that would come over and we didn't tell them that rule! and if she added sausage to it, you were allowed one of those)

not me. no thanks. tomato sauce.... eeks.

she'd drain my spaghetti, put mine aside with butter & mix the rest. i rarely got seconds. but honestly?? i LOVE spaghetti w/ butter. it's not that i tolerated it. even now, sometimes i crave it. it really is good.

so i knew i was a pest. and i knew i was tired of not liking things. and i was convinced that i was just being a baby. that if i just told myself to like spaghetti (et al) i would.

so somehow i figured that 5 was my magic birthday. i guess 5 year olds have much more mature palates than those damn 4 year olds! ooooh, i talked this up so much. weeks?? my family was in on it. and helped me convince myself that i am right.

for my birthday dinner (anything i want), i told my mom to make RED SPAGHETTI. yes i was serious. no, i didn't want paprikas. (shocking, i know!).

one of my sisters can vouch for me. i WANTED with all my heart for this to be my magic birthday. (don't butter it, mommy. i want to have grown up RED pisketti!) i was going to like RED pisketti. i can't wait! it's my magic birthday.

until i tasted it.

luckily, mom had the foresight to save me some WHITE spaghetti.

i was so disappointed. imagine... if i didn't like my mom's spaghetti sauce... there's none out there for me.

so it's now the 30th anniversary. and there's no spaghetti on the menu this weekend.

*who the hell eats scrambled eggs in the microwave?? i once saw an episode of Take Home Chef & when Curtis picked the chick up & asked her what was for dinner, that is seriously what she was planning on having. it was priceless! not "scrambled eggs". but "scrambled eggs in the microwave". i lived on them. not anymore! i'll dirty up a pan no problem.

little did i know

#89 explained, or part 2 of the engagement story.

so yes. little did i know all the things that were happening behind the scenes so that on friday, july 27, 2001 The Mr. would propose to me. (just 10 days off, Tom!)

little did i know that back in june, probably even before i started the thinking and the mulling and the harping and the obsessing The Mr. started putting everything in motion with an email to my sister.

her husband was a diamond dealer at the time. (nice!). The Mr, my sister, and her husband have even sat together before looking at the stones he brought home one day while they had us over for dinner. all of us knew exactly what i wanted: traditional. gold. round. less than a carat.

little did i know that The Mr. met with my BIL & already picked out a ring for me before our trip to michigan.

little did i know that when i went to a kickboxing class, i would break the one fingernail that was important to me.... after a summer of finally growing my nails out.

little did i know that my flippant comment made thursday night of "look which nail i broke. oh well, don't need it" would be resolved the next day.

little did i know that i about gave The Mr. a caniption b/c i kept asking why the window curtain was off to the side. (it would help you to know how very unobservant i normally am. for me to notice this was kinda "off")

little did i know that it was off to the (wrong) side b/c while i was at kickboxing class breaking my nail, he was talking to my parents asking their blessing. and he was antsily waiting for me out the window because i was due home any moment.
i came home right after he hung up from my mom.

we had planned to go to eat at our favorite indian restaurant in ATL on saturday. and i don't remember exactly why, but The Mr. thought it would be fun to go after work instead. so we planned to do that. a real-live date on a friday night? no way!

little did i know that friday morning he was done with me whining, and while he watched me sleep, he went into the closet, looked at the ring and almost just gave it to me right there. (thank you, honey for NOT doing that!).
i'm pretty sure my discussing possibly moving in with my friend who wanted to move out of her parents place had something to do with that one.

so friday comes. and i should let you know that when i was teaching i tended to get some major cabin fever by the end of the summer. couple that with the obsessing i was doing, and i guess i wasn't like the funnest to be around.
although i was really excited for date night. take me out of the house and into the big city, pa! WOW.

we had a nice dinner. very normal. nothing out of the ordinary. day-to-day conversation. then The Mr. suggested we check out a park he's heard of. we love going to parks, and took weekly walks at a local park near our apt. so this --- didn't clue me in. it was early yet. we're in ATL. let's go to piedmont park of course.
and that's where i stupidly talked about stupid stuff. i can't even remember. but i swear i think i was recapping a little of Days of Our Lives. (seriously???)

we walked all around the lake. little did i know he was scoping out the "perfect spot".

oh. did i mention it was late july? we're in pants. and his car's air was busted at the time. so we drove the half hour to ATL with the windows rolled down. (my car was having tire issues, so we didn't wanna drive on those either).

see--- so NOT what you'd think in a proposal. i coulda been way cuter. and less stupid w/ the conversation.

until we sat down at the lake. taking in the scenery.
and then The Mr. starts talking. and god how i wish i could remember everything he said. i didn't even remember it back then. i do remember he opened with how glad he was that we started talking about this stuff lately.
(really? b/c i know i'm harping on it a lot). it's been good. and he talked about our past. and what i mean to him. and it was all a really good conversation.
(still no freakin clue.... i just figured he was FINALLY opening up b/c he knew he really should by now). and i just blindly said my "thank yous, me toos, uh-huhs" enjoying this new side of him.

little did i know he had a diamond ring box in his sock so i wouldn't see/feel it in his pocket. [with the exact ring i wanted. that still garners me lots of compliments]

we were already sitting, so there was no awkward getting on his knee or anything.
i didn't even see him get it.
& because i SO wasn't expecting anything, i wasn't even looking at him during this part of the heart-to-heart. i turned my head to see the view & then alluvasudden, he had different types of words coming out of his mouth.

he continued to tell me that he loves me. and he has liked growing with me. and he said something to the effect of how he wants to continue to grow with me. and then he asked "would you do me the honor of becoming my wife......will you marry me?"

i'm not even sure how much of that i really heard. b/c right when it started to sound all propos-y, tears and shaking and emotions just flooded me.
hugs and kisses and yesses abound. shrieking. and watching him smile oh so big. and more hugs and kisses. (in public, y'all!!!)

i truly never thought he could surprise me. i always thought i'd know. even down to hearing him opening up, it really didn't occur to me. and i always thought i'd have a clue.

afterwards, sharing our bliss i see a white van with no windows drive nearby. twice. so not 5 minutes after he proposed to me did i ask him if it was a joke... and were we on Spy TV?

he went on to explain that he had thought of proposing on our way to g'ville to see his parents, and stopping by clemson to do so. but then he thought he'd like to do it here in ATL. because this is where we're making our life together, and he wanted to make new memories for us.

little did i know....