come knockin tonight

well, y'all- it's halloween. so traditionally, there will be lotsa door knockin' tonight.
but, it's a little known fact that i got from anglophile football fanatic that today is also "knock knock day"

this one cracks me up, and it's prob'ly so old, but i had never heard it before The Mr. & it's the one i always start with:
knock knock.......................
dishes..............................
dishes mpotter- will ya let me in?

this is the other one that keeps me laughing. my now 16, then 3 year old niece shared this bit of gold:
knock knock...........................
little lady.............................
i didn't know you could yodel!

i could try to think of a few more, but AH. i gotta get to work soon. wish me luck.
and please feel free to play along.
i love knock knock jokes!!!

ode

not looking for anything, we both found each other.
through random chance, a proposal, & lotsa laughter. and that was just the first conversation.

he watched me grow from a sad, confused, lost little girl & he shaped me into who i am today: sometimes admittedly still sad, lost, & confused at times... but mostly happy. silly. supported.

through all the ruf times, the sad times, the fun times, the scary times, the elated times, the fussy times, the loving times.... i grew into who i am.
and that's because of him.

smart as hell
and funnier than that.
he cares about me and tries to teach me through all of my one-mindedness.
he supports decisions i make, and guides me. and he loves me. ME!
plus, he's tall dark & handsome: who could ask for more??

who knew that 13 years ago, when i wouldn't even feed him, he'd stick around and become the best husband of bunko.

The Mr. is amazing. and i'm so glad he's mine.

here's to many more!

BONUS!

Apparently, the policy of ACS (am. cancer soc) is to make the start date 2 weeks after they offer the job. so, instead of starting work tomorrow, i won't start until wednesday.
so, BONUS. i get 2 days off already!!!

i wish i could say i have been doing worthwhile things in these last 2 weeks, but, nah. just the same sorta stuff of the last 4 months.
did i paint the purple room (or furniture) as planned? nope.
does the office look pristine? nope. (much to the Mr.'s chagrin)

but i did wash some baseboards! (can't tell)

i got to stay in touch w/ the teacher-side of me and volunteer at school for my 1st grade team several times.

i also enjoyed last thursday by making dinner for some friends of ours. she wanted to try my chicken paprikas (that's poppycosh for those that have heard us speak the word) and they LOVED it.
2 bottles of wine'll do that to ya.

i've been spending money like a madwoman- i need me some professional clothes for this new profession.

i've been regaling in my new guilt-free laziness. b/c you know, i have a job now. i won't be able to do this much longer.

so, these next 2 days will be spent sleeping late, making dinner from a new recipe, dorkin' around on the computer/ nintendo DS, possibly taking in a movie, and having a lunch feast for tuesday.

and hell, i MIGHT even do a load of laundry (if my drought guilt doesn't kick in)

um, 13 +1

oops...
is it already friday? well, i completely forgot about the thursday thirteen, so today will have to be plus one. i know, i know.... you waited with bated breath!

13 proud moments in my life:

1. i landed the job i quit teaching for
2. i just finished running all of my 1st 5k (time- 32:25)
3. i was a good teacher
4. the last 2 years of Relay for Life were exceptional
5. i was a good captain of RFL
6. i was nominated teacher of the year (for my efforts in RFL, and dealing with an un-dealable student)
7. i graduated from Clemson University
8. i recently paid off my LARGE student loan
9. Irmo High School marching band finished 9th in the nation
10. and we got the "esprit de corps" award (sorta like miss congeniality)
11. i had a small clarinet solo once in 10th grade.
12. in 10th grade, i got "most improved band musician"
13. for xmas in 10th grade, i got a "selmer signet soloist 115" badass clarinet

plus one: The Mr. married me........ & loves me.........zits & all!

so THIS is what i need...

while perusing blogs in another fit of insomnia, i came across one i read daily (appropo, thus the name), and she had a clever post that i thought i'd try:

apparently, if you google 'your name' needs, you'll come up w/ a list that may or may not be funny/helpful/true.

here's some interesting tidbits about apparently, what i need....

m Needs Your Help for what, exactly? i don't know, but yes... i can always use help

m needs a family that will be patient, consistent, kind, loving hmmm, this sounds like a whole 'nother blog post.

m needs a good man to care for her and tend to her as she deserves DONE. he even tends to me when i don't deserve....

m needs to just shut up hey! who put this one in here???? one of my cousins, no doubt, as i used to get paid to shut up!

m needs to take photography and graphics classes i have actually been told this before. maybe i should look into it.

so, ha. that was kinda fun. maybe you should try it. (tho i have the feeling i'm behind the times and you already have!)

supportive

The Mr. said to the kittens on Saturday:
hi, guys!!! say hi to mom. she just quit her job for a different job and then she got the new job.

that cracked me up, the way he said that.
definitely sounds interesting in that light. how many people are fortunate enough to be able to be as patient as i was?

YES it was nerve-racking. YES it was difficult to answer questions while also being vague (? how's the job hunt? ! wellllllll, i should make a decision in about a week or so... !-------how many weeks went by & i was still using the same line?)
YES it got pretty old staying home with nothing to do. b/c yes, while i was at home, i did try to take care of the chores/errands. but then what?
YES i needed to start a blog about nothing to occupy my time.

i have not yet forgotten, though, that it was The Mr. who made it possible!!! he supported me the whole way through. he allowed it to happen. i mean, can you imagine???
honey, do you mind if i quit my wonderful paying job and sense of identity to schlupp it around the house for a few months??? i promise i'll pick up whatever bon-bons inadvertently fall to the ground.

he warned me about the ugly side of job hunting. he made me aware that if it didn't happen, it was OK. and that plan b would be just fine. he also wanted me to realize that millions of people don't just land their first job, so i need to be prepared for disappointment.

but he believed in me.

after i came back from the first interview- WAY BACK WHEN in september- i was a little forlorn. he came in from lunch and said: "how'ditgo?"
my reply: " i didn't want that job anyway!" (way to be prepared)

i didn't really expect it to get this far, but he said he thought i had it, and when i got the questionnaire and 2nd interview, he had no doubt!

so, i am anxious and excited about my new adventure to come soon.
and i am very grateful that The Mr. supported the whole thing.
i know he's proud of me, and that makes me even more fortunate!

the beginning........

me: how's your day? i mean, what without my bugging you every 10 minutes to say ---i'm watching tv. isn't that great???
the mr.: yeah. it's great
me: that's swell. but really, i should let someone bring home the bacon..... so i guess- get back to it. SORRY for all the intrusions.
the mr..: no problem; hope you're having a good day
me: i am. glad i got most of the purple room FINISHED.... i just need your little help w/ the last 2 things.
me: AND i made our bed.
the mr..: no problem; productive day then
me: but lets not forget my AMAZING run this morning...................... guess if i do that i feel accomplished.
the mr..: yeah; take the rest of the day off
me: ha. ok. so we're in agreement.
me: but not entirely. dinner will be amply prepared for when you come home.
the mr..: it better be ready and hot
me: oh, wait. i just dropped a bon-bon.
me: ok. what?
me: HA
me: hey, that would be a fantastic title for a blog: I JUST DROPPED A BON BON
the mr..: go ahead and start it. www.blogspot.com
me: well, i've got not much to say, except that. but how funny!!! bet someone else has it anyway
the mr..: there's a blog with that name?
me: not sure. but everyone's always so creative w/ their titles.
me: probly
the mr..: don't come up in blogspot
me: well, then..... hmmmm. i could blog about NOTHING. oh well. good idea wasted.
me: hope you liked that. ok. go work. for real. you're interfering w/ my taped tivo shows.
me: HA
the mr..: ha

happy thoughts for today

1. i am now employed.
2. it was the job i was waiting for
3. The Mr. bought me a kite for my birthday
4. it came in today.
5. supportive people
6. at my interview, the lady was IMPRESSED w/ my profile assessment.
7. we're going to Raja on saturday to celebrate this week's events
8. i'm running (bleck) a 5k on saturday
9. sunday it will be over!
10. my "kittens" crack me up
11. carvel snickers ice cream cake
12. i'm in a good place right now
13. reading the comments on my blog. (you don't have to be shy, either....)

serendipity

ser·en·dip·i·ty [ser-uhn-dip-i-tee] –noun
1. an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.
2. good fortune; luck: the serendipity of getting thefirst job she applied for.

interestingly enough, the sentence they gave with #2 is serendipitous in itself!!!

so on the anniversary of my crapday, i was interviewing w/ the american cancer society that i had been pursuing since i left teaching. it paid off- they offered me a job.
the exact same position that i applied for when i researched openings in december(and couldn't go thru the interview process b/c i wasn't available then due to teaching)!!! it had come open again.

musta been meant to be, b/c i was not offered an interview w/ a position in june since they filled it internally.

for those newcomers who don't know the story: the quick of it is that my mom died of cancer so this job was especially meaningful to me. i had been captain of Relay for Life for my school for 4 years. it was a "natural" progression.
if you've never heard of RFL, don't worry---- you will if you stick around. (and please do. i'll offer a slice of the delicious snickers ice cream cake from carvel that The Mr. bought for my crap, er i mean birth,day)

soooooo... guess i only have about a week to stock up on my bon-bons.
i definitely get that the blog title is not going to make as much sense now that i'm gainfully employed. but i think i'm sticking w/ the same blog address, just because there's a handful of people that know about it.
and it's still cute.

so, stay w/ me. there's still more to come.....

shopping list...

do i need to shop for more bon-bons????

i feel really good about this 2nd (read: final) interview i had w/ the non-profit. i really didn't even expect a call-back. but, i got that far!

so, 2 interviews and a million yes/no question assessment--- and it's down to me & someone else... come to find out.... she said i did very well on that dern thing.

it would be serendipity if i could write back that i got the job.
it would mean i had come full circle....

well, hopefully the story will be told soon!
wish me luck!

happy crapday

a sad void: not getting the birthday card from your mom.

a sad phrase: "mommy wishes michelle a happy birthday."

a sad sight: sympathy cards & birthday cards on the same counter.

a sad event: having your mom's funeral mass on your birthday, and having the opening lines spoken by your uncle -the priest from brazil -as stated above.

a sad bond: your sister acknowledging that we're too young to be orphans; giving me a birthday "party" in the midst of this; making my birthday brighter than hers.... when her own was marred by the loss of our mother just 5 days earlier.

i CAN'T believe it's been a year.....
it hurts like yesterday.

baby baby baby BABY baby

i know it's incredibly difficult to fully get the effect of the title here. for whatever reason, i absolutely loved that line when reese witherspoon says that to joaquin phoenix as june carter/johnny cash in "walk the line".

annnyway....

it's times like these i come back to remembering how i'm the baby of the family.
when i meet someone, inevitably over time, it comes out about my large family and my number order. most of the time, for whatever reason, if the person is older than me, they'll ask: "oh--- so, you're the baby??"
and i am QUICK to reply/respond/retort: "no. i'm the YOUNGEST"
and, we all can guess the next line, yes? "well, you'll always be their baby."

and this i know. for all the world tells me so. and have ever since i started to rebuke/rebel/resist.

mainly, it was my dad who would introduce me as his baby. (insert my insistence here). it was an ongoing "battle". it was our thing, i guess.
i don't know when it started, but i have quite a few memories of my mom introducing me and stutter at baby, and claim me as her youngest. [victory!]

then, 6 months after i got married, my father passed away.
and from then on, my mom & i simultaneously ignored the "youngest rule" and when i was called the baby, i allowed it. and fondly.
somehow, i guess it was just intrinsically understood.

but now, it's been a year (!) that my mom passed away.
and it's been creeping up on me lately-

i miss being their baby!!

refresher course

here's an easy Thursday 13
my parents had:

1. bobby
2. paul
3. jo-marie
4. mary-ellen
5. dianne
6. barbara
7. danny
8. karen
9. kenny
10. billy
11. laurie-jean
12. ricky
13. me

two wheelin'

as i have alluded to twice before (here & here), riding my first bike (it had a flowered banana seat!) was an experience. it's one of those memories that's tucked in my head; but i never really gave it too much thought.

when i received my birthday gift from my in-laws, i was very excited because i basically hadn't ridden a bike since the 5th grade. that was about the most thought i had given the memories.

but the other weekend in the park, i talked to The Mr. about it. and he did what he's fantastic at doing: he gave me perspective. by the way: if you stick with me in this blog, all you millions of readers (have you told your friends yet??) you will soon learn that i am quite possibly the least introspective person alive. so, i'm constantly grateful to the people i look up to, because they always give me new perspectives.

i digress----

when i was in the 3rd grade, my parents moved the youngest 5 of their kids to Selma, Alabama. it may have been the combination of the promise of having more money, or the guilt they felt for dividing their family, but my parents bought us youngers new bikes for xmas.

it took awhile for them to come in. (not sure of the exact deal, i was just a littly) but when i got my very own bike i was elated!

i can't remember all the details about who was out there to try to teach me to ride this bike. i had never before ridden a bike. i never had a bike with training wheels (but i did have a trike when i was super-littly), so i would imagine someone came out there with me. but i know it wasn't either one of my parents. i have a vague recollection of my brother trying to tell me how to stop... alas, i wasn't very good at that and fell in the grass lots of times. but he was off riding his own new bike, so it wasn't completely important to him. (this is the brother that used to frog me for fun...)

so, i'm pretty certain i was left basically alone. our driveway was a little downhill. so, i didn't have too much space to practice (er, learn). i remember running into the back of our van a few times (and getting yelled at when i was told on). i was completely frustrated at this whole process. (sound familiar??)--- so, i gave up.

the next day at school, all i kept thinking of was learning how to ride that bike. i was pretty scared about it, though. i had already tried and was too frustrated. so it didn't matter at the moment. it never occurred to me to ask someone for help. it wasn't until the next day that i obsessed some more and got fed up about it. i really wanted to learn how to do this. especially because i knew i couldn't just let an expensive gift go unused. (in fact, typing that gives me the vague reminder that b/c i hadn't learned it over the weekend and clearly not trying on that monday my dad thought he should take it back).

so, on tuesday feb 1, 1983 i came home from school, and before my dad came home from work, i used the small flat carport part to learn how to ride without falling. so my first experience was basically riding in circles. then i rode it up a tiny part way of my driveway and down again and kept inching my way. i finally got the hang of it, & i couldn't've been more proud!

.........here's where the perspective comes in about 20 years later:
The Mr. listened to this story and his response was, "how sad." and i never really put much thought into it, b/c that's just how things were for me. but yes. it is sad if you think about it. riding a bike is one of those pictured milestones where your parents hold on to the back and push and you have a picture marking the wobbly descent into your new mobility.

chalk it up to something i missed out on.

so, please share. what was your first biking experience like???

observations at the park

so, yesterday while biking at the park:

we saw a live snake that we almost ran over (eewwww)!

i saw 2 deer up on the path cross into the woods. by the time we rode past that place, we saw one of the deer in the woods just watching us.

during our picnic, we also created a nice little story for the woman who was swinging by herself. turns out, her husband had been talking to the marshall.

we saw a couple pushing their stroller (aaawwwww)- wait! was that?... yes!!! ... for THEIR DOG!

we saw a lake that is seriously depleting it supply of lake-ness!!! god, we need some rain!!!

it's like riding a bike...

The Mr. & i have recently started riding our bikes in a nearby park. it's the perfect place for us (read: me) to ride. there is a lovely lake, nice wide paths, just a few hills (which i'm getting better at... and truthfully, they're pretty small. except for me!). one of the best parts about it happens after one of the hills. which is probably like a 5 on a scale to 10. once you go on top, you cross the road and go downhill so much! it's a blast. The Mr. clocked it, and we go like 18 miles an hour. exhilarating!

we have started a weekend tradition of taking lunch with us and having a picnic in between the laps.

the weather has been most cooperative, and it's something new and fun we're doing together. and each weekend, i curse myself for not ever having done this sooner...

...*flashback* ... The Mr.'s wonderful parents bought me my bike for my birthday a few years ago. we were totally psyched about it, and immediately bought a bike carrier and took it to a different park with skinny paths, lots of people, and a few hills (that lacked payoff). that was a one and only time.

our n'hood also has quite a few hills i am just not quite ready for.

add all that to the fact that i just have lots of trouble learning how to drive. it was trouble in a car. and it's definitely the same for a bike.

the last bike i had ever ridden was my pink flower-coated-banana-seat bike that has one gear and to brake, you pedal backwards.

this bike? it's awesome! AWESOME! and it comes with lots of gears. like a million. back in the 80s, when i rode my sister's 10-speed, i didn't know you could actually switch gears. i mean-- what?

so- my father-in-law (who bikes across states & up mountains for FUN) and The Mr. know how to ride bikes. i think it's in their blood. me?? notsomuch.
when The Mr. & i took it out for a spin- ohmigod the stress of it!

...Whaddya mean i need to change gears? this is fine. i'm pedaling. no problem.
well, it's a lot easier, if you don't make extra work for yourself. so when you go up a hill, downshift (??), and when you go downhill, you will have extra power, so you can upshift so your legs are in stride...
...(??) Whaddya mean i need to change gears? this is fine. i'm pedaling. no problem.

ok. so, yes. that was pretty much an actual conversation. nevermind the fact, then he proceeds to help me to understand (?) and he tells me when to shift. NOT GOOD ENOUGH. then he says to go up or down. (um.... which one which one??? there's two gears.... ohmy, stress!!!!!)

so, yeah. i've been wasting one of the best birthday gifts i had ever gotten b/c i'm a wuss at mechanics, driving, learning something from my husband.

but for our anniversary, i decided what a perfect time to go out into the woods (5 years gift is wood), pack a picnic, lose all inhibition and do something FOR HIM. b/c i knoooooow he would enjoy it. and so would i. if only he'd shuttup about the "correct" way.

so, about a month ago, we set off. he was all geared up (forgive the pun) and i packed a great picnic. the weather could NOT have been better! it was bliss.
for about 39 pedals in. then, the shifting conversation came back.
i got very upset and defensive and almost ruined the whole day.
my actual baby-ness coming out: ohmygod! shuttup! i'm doing this for you. i'm riding. isn't that good enough??

but, you see, if i would just listen, and he would be a little patient... all would work out.
after some much needed practice, i finally did learn how to shift (although i freely admit, i only fiddle w/ the right side) {he says that's OK, the hills aren't too large here}, and he would notice and say: "great job!" and i've gotten better about going uphill. although i still need my space. i'm not comfortable yet w/ him being beside me down hill or around a curve. but i'm getting better.

so, next time someone says: "it's just like riding a bike".... tell them to shove it.
because riding bikes can be hard and take years of arguing before you get it right.

The Thursday Thirteen

i stumbled across this wonderful idea when i was reading cheeky lotus. of course, it resonated with me b/c of the magic number. i always perk up when i notice the number, and knew that once i started this blog i was set for thursdays... at least until i run out of ideas.

so, without further ado, i present to you:
although i think alllllll of my millions of readers know me in person, i will attempt to offer:

13 things you may be surprised to learn about me:

1. i have never tasted pizza (that's for the ONE person who may happen to stumble on this blog)
2. i have never flown a kite
3. i learned to ride a bike on my own when i was in the 3rd grade- never having training wheels
4. i always wanted peppery freckles on my face (now i have rosacea instead) and because of that, i love every freckle i do have in random places
5. i once testified in divorce court for the lady i babysat for
6. i had a terrifying experience while babysitting my newborn nephew jordan... his head snapped and i thought he'd be damaged when he threw a colic fit and i didn't hold him quite perfectly.
7. (as mom would say): i'm ascared of being ascared
8. i almost consider my picky eating a handicap
9. i save all my tivoed episodes of curious george
10. i have always been a good speller (recently i've been slipping)--- i remember 3 challenge words in 2nd grade that i got right: dictionary, encyclopedia, cousin
11. earlier this year The Mr. & i were invited to a sweet 16 birthday party
12. The Mr. & i have been together for 13 years
13. even tho i'm not in love w/ this large family of mine, i'm glad i am #13. it gives me one interesting thing to hang onto. i would absolutely find nothing amazing in the same situation, had i been, oh- i dunno- dianne. (#5)

[that was harder to do than i expected]

grey matters

for me the world's issues are not black and white. never have been. no doubt it contributes to my indecisiveness. this comes up from time to time. most recently, i had to take some online assessments for the non-profit job i'm looking into.

i answered more than 200 yes or no questions.

problem is...... well, re-read the first sentence.
i'm about as grey as they come. i can see both sides to everything. i am even grey about the spelling of the word gray!!

when i learned a little more about politics in the 10th grade, i was literally confused about the whole party system. i mean, how in the world can you decide if you're democrat or republican? because with that there are like 100 beliefs... education, gun control, abortion, health policies, environmental policies, etc...

i always had a problem w/ that. b/c what if you believe one way about one issue, and the opposite for another. how do you declare which party you are?? how do you know who to vote for?

and then there's me.... i'm so grey on all kinds of issues. and better still, i flip-flop through them.

so, please don't give me a yes-or-no-there's-no-wrong-answer-just-give-me-your-first-response-kind-of-test. especially when it can determine my job status for the future!

and who develops these tests to evaluate our intelligence??? people who use DOUBLE NEGATIVES. what???
i really wish i had copied some of the test questions. but i'm not kidding when i say a lot of them were like this: [actual test question]

You have never had an argument

• yes
• no

nevermind the dumb question--- how in the world do you answer it?? yes- i've never had an argument or no- i've never had an argument. OK now i'm grey on how you can even read that!!!! both ways can say that you have never in your life had an argument. (ok, what???)

i realize it's not the very best example, but several of them used the double negatives.

why couldn't they just say: have you ever had an argument? have you ever had to resolve conflict? have you ever wanted to poke yourself in the eye for answering ridiculous questions for me to judge your employability???

so, not only do i have the issue of not knowing what i feel/how i believe, you throw the confusion in the mix. and for really good measure, they ask the same question more than once, phrase it another way for yet another time, and by the time you know it, you've said yes AND no to the same questions!!!!

so, i'm grey.... fannnnnntastic!

now i know how a zebra feels. he'd rather be a donkey!

diagnoSIS

as noted in a previous post, i mentioned trouble sleeping. i would like to clarify before i give the symptoms of this strange affliction known as SIS.

over time, i must have developed my sister's keen ability to sleep as soon as i meant to. i know over the many years in GA (maybe even beforehand), The Mr. has complained that i fall asleep so easily, while he has to "watch over me". i'm sure it was very helpful to have been a teacher for all that time. that's a profession that just demands sleep. it also causes sleepless nights at times, but that is NOT the same as SIS.

here are some of the symptoms in order to get an accurate diagnoSIS.

1. SIS can occur without warning, usually during summer months (idle times)


2. it's usually accompanied by some heavy sighs.


3. on many occasions, SIS can occur even when your body is very tired.


4. without feeling much stress, your eyeballs are held open, almost by invisible cartoon toothpicks: you idly watch the clock tick from 12 to 1:24 to 2am.


5. you aren't thinking of how to save the world, how to get a job, or of a fight that you've had with anyone in your life... you're just wiiiiide awake.


6. in those hours of alertness, before you get frustrated at the time, you begin to think. oddly, not of anything important. here are some of the inconsequential thoughts you may think of**:

• jay terrell and jeffrey mangieri (from the 1st grade)
• coleman hensley
• eating oats while playing horse
• the marching band moment known as: sympathetic fallacy
• a cashier from Publix you barely know
• remembering some of the oddest dreams you've had in life
• playing on the rec's playground
• summer bowling
• playing "glory of love" at a band concert in the 8th grade
• remember having worn a dress every day in 5th grade

that's just a smattering of some examples.

**please note: if you think of any of the above people mentioned, and you don't know them, immediately consult a doctor, because i think that's way more serious than Summer Insomnia Syndrome.

it is also worth mentioning that the thoughts of these people are more about the mind's eye, and not always focusing on any meaningful conversation.

the only cure that i'm aware of at this time is to have a job that can keep your mind occupied all day so that you are restful at night.

disclaimer: SIS is not the exact same as insomnia... where you are plagued with thoughts of the day, things you need to get done, regrets you may have, or wishes you could've done differently. nothing productive or insightful manifests from SIS. it is a benign but annoying condition that is usually temporary.

if you, or someone you know, is suffering from this malady, please feel free to comment. we can exchange sympathies...

now----- please stop hogging all the poppies.

D-DAY (does D stand for disappointment??)

well, today's the day i find out if i have a 2nd interview with the non-profit job i've been pursuing... i had hoped that i would have heard early this morning.

i maintain the feeling that tomorrow is the day i concentrate on the "plan b" job...

i was supposed to write about the symptoms of SIS, but here i sit, not able to be funny or creative....

to my plethora [one] of readers-i apologize.
i am stressed on top of sad.
a year ago everything was so very different....

till next time---

updated to add: yeah, still don't know anything. i was asked to do some online assessments. so i guess i will not be going on to plan b so soon.... d stands for diabolical. cuz this waiting is merciless!!!!